#FMF Middle

A weekly writing prompt from FIVEMINUTEFRIDAY

Currently, I feel I am in the middle of a transition that is tearing me apart. I have been struggling and I made a mistake. I am trying to find my way from the middle of the forest to where I am supposed to be but somehow am a contestant on a bad game show or else stuck in someone else's novel. In either case, I have a blindfold on I cannot rip off — my hands are tied. Things keep popping up from behind doors like it’s “Let's Make a Deal” but all of them are whammies. The anxiety wraps around me like a blanket that squeezes like a python that is circus big. I am in the middle of a new job where I am building the plane and flying it at the same time. I can only control what I can control is the mantra I repeat so thoughts do not spiral out into an imaginary scenario where I get myself in trouble again. There are wild connections made in my mind that I logically know are not true but part of my brain believes anyway. The darkness creeps in like a fog and I keep batting it away but it only reacts to the airwave I make and the black fog still comes closer sneaking in on the sides surrounding me.

I know I am in the middle and then I will be at the end and whatever is will be. Then there will be another beginning and then another middle and then an end again. I don't know how many ends there will be before I get to Minnesota. I know to enjoy the journey and make notes to use for writing but this middle seems like it has been obstacles that are boomerangs. I keep throwing them off the to-do list and they fly through life and get muddled then come back and I have to deal with them again. There is no room for these boomerangs. Their place already taken by the next thing. I have to ask myself if I will even know when the end and the beginning appear again, or will I still find myself stuck in the middle?