A Thank You Letter

A letter that should be from loving kindness but really isn’t

To the Lie Bureau, Parental Violation Division

℅ Lisa

I am writing in reference to the infractions brought against the family over the last five years. First, I must commend you for the unwavering and stubborn demeanor in which you present yourself. Your ability to lie to everyone is impressive especially when you cannot remember your own stories, even on the same night.

Thank you for ruining the name Lisa for me and causing the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon in my professional life. The family never calls you by your given name. You are an imposter and I cannot stand the feel of the letters in my mouth. You have many nicknames.

I have done nothing but love your children like they were my own since I met them. Thank you for not wanting their father anymore. We are soulmates on every level which I think you recognized early. You didn’t like my name in his mouth. Nice try with the incident and trying to get me to leave. Didn’t work. I am glad you tried to make yourself feel better by telling everyone he and I were dating before we were so you could feel better about the boyfriend you already had. The children never believed you anyway. No matter how many times you say it, doesn’t make it true.

Thank you for always making the wrong choice. If there is an opportunity for you to the do the decent thing you choose not to every time. Thank you for being…